The person with an aggressive mind is restless and discontented. They don’t sleep well, unable to find peace. They obsess about the harm they imagine their opponents might cause them, and how to get the upper hand. The idea that drives them is that their enemies can be overcome by way of anger. But in reality, when one’s mind is filled with anger, one’s enemies will increase, not decrease
Although the good qualities are right there within us and all around us, if we fail to recognize them, there’s not much they can do for us. But if we recognize them, it opens up a world of possibilities.
If we’re coping with a heavy, complicated problem, we’re often too busy to feel lonely. But sometimes, loneliness itself becomes our major problem. What’s happening is that our monkey mind is zooming in on the feeling, exaggerating it. Sometimes we think, “I don’t really have any good friends,” when what we really mean is we do, but they’re not around, or we don’t feel connected to them at that moment. Sometimes we think, “Oh, I don’t want to be around other people,” and we isolate ourselves. Later on, when our mood has shifted and we want company, we forget that we ourselves created that environment, and we feel lonely.
In my tradition, we believe that with any type of relationship — between friends, family, teacher and student, or even the relationship between yourself and the society you live in — there are four points that need to be considered, sometimes called “the four enlightened activities.” These consist of peaceful activity, enriching activity, magnetizing activity, and powerful activity. All of them hinge on interdependence.
Low self-esteem is like a hungry goblin, gobbling up your vital energy and gleefully tanking your confidence, complicating your existing difficulties and even creating problems where there weren’t any.
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