Meditation for negative thoughts
By Yongey Mingur Rinpoche • 5 min read
Every mental affliction is actually the basis of wisdom. When we get caught up in our afflictions or try to repress them, we just end up creating more problems for ourselves. But if instead, we look at them directly, the things we fear will drive us crazy can gradually transform into the strongest support for meditation we could ever hope for.
Keep your spine loosely straight. Close your eyes. Relax the muscles in your body. Breathe naturally. Be aware of your breath.
Bring your awareness to any sensations in your body, whether pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. Don’t try to control the sensations. Even if what you feel is pain or unhappiness, that’s okay. And if you can’t find a sensation, just be with that.
Your awareness is bigger than your negative thoughts. So when you can hold sensations in your awareness, that is kindness. If you feel like you can’t let go of your aversion to some of them, that’s okay too. Just be with your aversion. When you allow yourself to have aversion, that is love. That is compassion. That is forgiveness. So anything is okay: panic is okay, depression is okay. Guilt, destructive thoughts, whatever — it’s okay. All of these feelings are just like clouds in the sky, coming and going.
The mind is always active, always generating thoughts, just as the ocean always generates waves. We can’t stop our thoughts any more than we can stop waves in the ocean.”
– Mingyur Rinpoche –
Simply bringing awareness to destructive emotions is wisdom. Wisdom means knowing things as they are. So whatever feelings arise within you, just recognize them. Just be. Pain or pleasure, clarity or confusion, nothing at all — it doesn’t matter. If you get just a glimpse of a sensation and then it disappears, be with that. Allowing yourself to be with these feelings is really kind. And you don’t need to control anything, because your awareness is already free, already pure, already present.
But even though it is so simple, we quickly discover that we can’t stay aware of our breathing for very long – after just two or three breaths, we totally forget about our breath and wander off into thoughts, memories, plans, self-evaluation, and so on.
When this happens, it’s okay! It’s totally normal. In fact it’s unavoidable! So what to do? Nothing needs to be done. As soon as we notice that we were distracted – “Oh yeah! I’m supposed to be aware that I’m breathing!” – we have already come back to awareness.
Don’t worry about making mistakes or failing. Awareness is bigger than mistakes, bigger than failure.
Images may appear in your mind, and your inner voice may have a lot to say, expressing its beliefs or resistance. Just be with those voices, images, beliefs, and resistance. Now your destructive thoughts are breaking down into different pieces, which are changing. Let them change. Let them come, let them go. If you want to cry, you can cry. If you’re alone, you can cry loudly! If you want to laugh, you can laugh.
Sometimes, it can feel overwhelming to watch your emotions. If you feel overwhelmed, then you need to change focus. Listen to whatever sounds are in your environment. If there aren’t any sounds, just watch your breath.
Now open your eyes and rest your mind as it is, without any particular focus.
In between meditation sessions, whenever you’re having destructive thoughts or emotions, try to return to this: your basic nature is wonderful; you have wonderful innate qualities. On the fundamental level, we all have a great nature. So you can tell yourself, “I’m okay. I’m fine.” Let the destructive thoughts and emotions come, let them go. Ultimately, they are just mental chatter.
Make a habit of occasionally practicing this meditation. First, just stay with your breath, and when strong destructive thoughts and emotions arise, use them as support for your meditation. And remember, recognizing emotions as they are, no matter what they are, is wisdom. There’s no need to get into the realms of aversion and craving by deciding that certain emotions are good and others are bad. However, if you fall into that mindset of aversion and craving, that’s okay too. If you watch that, allow that, stay with that, then even aversion and craving can become your friends. No matter what, we have this pure awareness, and in awareness, there are no mistakes. Isn’t this wonderful news?
Being in awareness with whatever arises is great acceptance. It is love, actually. It is great kindness. Ordinary compassion is still based on aversion and craving, but this practice is unconditional love and compassion for thought, for emotion, for yourself. And then gradually, over time, you will be able to extend this to others. This is awareness, wisdom, love, and compassion.
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Learn meditation under the skillful guidance of world-renowned teacher Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche at your own pace.
In his approach to teaching meditation, Mingyur Rinpoche integrates traditional Buddhist practice and philosophy with the current scientific understanding of the mind and mental health – making the practice of meditation relevant and accessible to students around the world. Mingyur Rinpoche is the author of the best-selling book The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness, as well as Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom, In Love with the World: A Monk’s Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying, and many others.
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If we want to release tension or rumination, we emphasize the exhalation and the gap at the end before the inhalation. If we want to energize, we emphasize the inhale, and the place at the top of the inhale.
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