Can Meditation Make You Feel Worse?
By Tergar Meditation Community• 3 min read
When you first begin a meditation practice, you might have a rather pleasant experience – a sense of clarity, or a more settled mind, for instance. However, once you’ve tried meditation a few times, a flurry of thoughts might start popping up – or even a real overload of thoughts and emotions. “Hang on,” you might think, “why does my mind feel worse now? Before I tried this meditation business, I was better off!” And, if you did have that initial, peaceful experience, you’ll probably concentrate on trying to have it again, and feel frustrated if you can’t get back to that wonderful sense of calm. But don’t worry, it’s extremely common for the mind to react to meditation by appearing to overflow with intrusive ideas, associations, feelings, and so on.
Think of it this way: if you observe a river during a heavy rain, you cannot see what is under its surface. There’s just too much turbulence; the water is roiled up and muddy. After the storm is over, though, and the river has calmed, you are suddenly able to see all kinds of things in it. Fish, grasses, stones, little snails and insects, shells and sand on the riverbed — so much becomes visible. All those things were there during the rainfall, too, but you couldn’t perceive them. Now that the water is quiet, pure, and clear, you begin to see what is there. It is exactly the same with meditation. Before you have a practice, your mind rushes just as much. But you don’t really notice the content – the stuff under the river — because you don’t have any distance from it. Once you start to meditate, as your mind quiets down, you become more aware of thoughts and emotions as they arise. It can feel like an overwhelming torrent, but it’s actually a sign that you’re on the right track. In fact, there’s even a traditional name for it – the “waterfall experience.”
One of the most common misperceptions about meditation is that it means to think of nothing—no thoughts, no emotions. So if you’re a beginner and you find yourself having the waterfall experience, you might assume that you’re doing it wrong, or that you got bad instructions. Maybe you conclude that you “just don’t connect with meditation.” But actually, the opposite is true — the waterfall is the first sign that your mind is beginning to become calm and peaceful. So take heart, because it is something to be happy about!
“Once you start to meditate, as your mind quiets down, you become more aware of thoughts and emotions as they arise.”
– Mingyur Rinpoche –
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Often when we begin to meditate, we can be overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. For Mingyur Rinpoche, this arose as experiences of panic and confusion. In this video, Mingyur Rinpoche explains why this is the case.
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“To cope with destructive thoughts, we need to understand that what is really happening is a failure to recognize our mind’s true nature. We get muddled when we confuse our conceptual mind — the way we perceive external objects, the way we feel and think — for reality. And, in doing so, we end up exaggerating our problems.”
“This technique of going in and out of meditation — traditionally referred to as “short times, many times” — is often illustrated by the example of drops of water falling one by one into a large empty bucket. It might take a long while, but in the end, the barrel will be full. Doing informal meditation while you’re working will increase your productivity and the quality of your work; at the same time it will develop your spiritual practice, improve the health of your relationships, and benefit your physical body, too. Altogether, a win-win.”
If you’re reading this, you’ve certainly received at least a few teachings that inspired you to meditate. But for some of us, there’s just one catch: we somehow can’t get around to actually doing it. “Oh my, the day went by so fast! Well, tomorrow, I’ll definitely make time to meditate.” Tomorrow comes and goes, and meditation gets put off until the next day . . . and the next.
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