I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT MEDITATION PRACTICE being like a relationship — it takes time for it to open up and to really show us what it is and what it has to offer. It’s not something that we can immediately jump into and experience. The practice is complex because we are complex. It unfolds layer by layer.

We just need to have patience and curiosity. It’s not about getting somewhere. It’s about having that curiosity and enjoying the learning process — and often, that is challenging because it’s difficult when we don’t feel that we get it fully or we don’t feel that we’re good at it.

With any type of new practice, it’s important to remember that many of us would like to be able to do everything well immediately. This is often the mindset we bring: “I should be able to do this. I should be able to understand this.” And if we don’t, either “There’s something wrong with me,” or “Maybe this practice is not for me.”

It’s helpful if we can come to this new practice with an attitude of, “I’m going to spend a lot of time with this, so let’s get into it!” Then, we can look for the easiest entryway into the practice. That’s where it helps to focus on different elements — some may feel familiar, while others might be more challenging. It can be helpful to break things down and gradually go deeper into various aspects.

The most important thing is to understand the meaning — the ultimate goal of the practice — what we are actually doing, which has many layers. Then, there are the specific elements of the practice, which we can get familiar with both in and outside formal sessions. For example, we can reflect on the symbolic meaning of White Tara’s appearance or the offering mudras. 

We can train with these elements — like the offering mudras — outside the practice session. We might say, “Okay, this week, I’m going to practice the mudras,” then I just remind myself, maybe when I’m doing the dishes, “Okay, what are the offering mudras?” And I go over them in my mind to know the Tibetan names. By the end of the week, I’ll feel confident with the mudras.  

Once we’re comfortable with the mudras, we can come to the mental recitations and go back and work with the visualization. In the beginning, when we’re chanting, maybe we don’t have a clear visualization of everything — it’s new, it’s fast. So then we can go back and just focus on getting that clearer and clearer. And then, in this way, we move on gradually.

Are there common challenges? 

I think we’re all different. Some people really enjoy the practice right from the start — maybe they love the melody or the feel of it. And for others, if they’re new to sadhana practice, it might feel a bit challenging. It can take some time to really get a sense of it. Because even though it’s presented in a very accessible way, it’s also quite complex.

If we look at how many people started ngöndro versus those who finish, we get two different numbers! I think it’s very common — and it’s not the practice’s fault. Sometimes, we have expectations that this practice should be a certain way, and then it’s not.

We can also see this as a process of purification. Sometimes, there are obstacles to doing a practice, and these are being cleared away. When there are some challenges for us in starting a certain practice, it’s actually a good sign. We shouldn’t be so afraid of resistance or challenges. We know that from the Joy of Living teachings. Rinpoche is saying that we should not be afraid of problems, and I think it’s the same here. 

How can we keep our practice alive and inspired?

It’s a beautiful opportunity to really engage with our own psyche. So rather than thinking, “Oh, this is getting dry,” I would pause and ask myself — have I started doing this on autopilot? Have I lost bodhichitta? Have I forgotten why I’m doing this? Because if I really see what I’m doing as I’m doing this practice, especially when I look at the world right now — all the imbalance and suffering — then I naturally feel motivated.

If we lose touch with that genuine understanding of what we’re doing and why, then the practice can start to feel like just going through the motions. Or we get caught up in numbers — having to complete this, having to reach that — and then it gets dry. Or we get overly fixated on some aspect of it. 

But this is a relationship. And just like any relationship, we can even get tired of the things we care about most. We can get tired of our best friends, our partner, anybody — and usually, that’s because we’ve stopped genuinely connecting. I think it’s the same with our practice. If we lose touch with it, of course, it will feel dry. That’s why it’s wonderful that we have so many ways to approach it from different angles. Maybe we continue receiving teachings, read something inspiring, or find new ways to reconnect when we feel stuck.

How can I support myself in learning?

Reflecting on our learning process is always helpful. How do I learn best? How do I support myself in learning? It’s the same here. There’s that balance — we want to stretch ourselves, but not too much.  If we demand too much, we’ll burn out. But if we give up too soon, nothing happens.

This is self-knowledge and self-awareness. It’s about taking responsibility — “How do I support myself?” If I care about my path, then I need to notice what helps me stay engaged. No one else can do that for me. Others can share what works for them, but in the end, we each have to figure it out for ourselves.

And to be honest — it’s not that easy. Sometimes, when we’re surrounded by a community of meditators, it can seem like everyone is practicing all the time. But in reality, it’s not that easy for most people to stick with it. Some do, but for a lot of people, it’s a challenge. That’s why we need to ask, “What do I need in order to stay with this?” and create the conditions that truly support the practice.

March 2025