The True Source of Negative Emotions
By Tergar Meditation Community • 2 min read
By Tergar Meditation Community • 2 min read
Q: What’s another word for the desire to be happy? A: Love. And since you probably aced that test question, you’ll recall that the desire to be free from suffering is also known as compassion. And, since you’ve been paying attention, by now you likely understand that every time you stand in front of the open fridge trying to decide what you want, every time you fall in love or send an emoji or shop for cat food — indeed, in everything you do — you’re seeking happiness. As for the desire to be free from suffering, to protect yourself from pain and harm, that’s equally omnipresent.
Unfortunately, in our ignorance, we don’t always act on these desires to be happy and free from suffering in a skillful way. When we’re confronted with things that scare us or rattle our cages, we immediately react with aversion. Feeling jealousy, hatred, or other painful emotions, we desperately want to annihilate the source of the problem, and express ourselves with aggression or even violence. Similarly, we often bring this honking lack of skillfulness to our desire to be happy, seeking happiness in people, places, and things that are mainly notable for their inability to bring us anything of the sort. These habits can be very deeply embedded in us, even though they don’t serve us well.
Although their true essence is rooted in love and compassion, these impulses, when they are so distorted, can really cause harm to ourselves to others. You can surely think of a million examples of this kind of unskillful behavior in other people, some of it really extreme. The daily news certainly is chock-full of examples. Maybe, if you put your mind to it, you can even think of a few instances when you acted in a way that was, shall we say, less than wonderful. However, whether you’re looking at your own life or somebody else’s, it is really important to understand that although the behavior might be spectacularly lacking in skillfulness, the underlying motivation is always a heartfelt impulse toward well-being and protection from harm. Integrating and absorbing this truth is one of the keys to understanding your true nature.
“The more we recognize awareness, the more access we have to our own loving qualities.”
– Mingyur Rinpoche –
Loving-kindness and compassion are critical elements of the path, but they can lead to fatigue and even burnout. In order to prevent this from happening, we must infuse them with wisdom.
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Tergar Meditation Community supports individuals, practice groups, and meditation communities around the world in learning to live with awareness, compassion, and wisdom. Grounded in the Tibetan Buddhist lineage of our guiding teacher, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, our online and in-person programs are accessible to people of all cultures and faiths, and support a lifelong path toward the application of these principles in everyday life.
“To cope with destructive thoughts, we need to understand that what is really happening is a failure to recognize our mind’s true nature. We get muddled when we confuse our conceptual mind — the way we perceive external objects, the way we feel and think — for reality. And, in doing so, we end up exaggerating our problems.”
What is patience, for a meditation practitioner? It’s a lot more than being able to discover that your flight has been delayed without raging at the people at the front desk, or being capable of hearing no, you can’t have that new toy, that bonus, or that fun adventure you wanted without having a meltdown
Low self-esteem is like a hungry goblin, gobbling up your vital energy and gleefully tanking your confidence, complicating your existing difficulties and even creating problems where there weren’t any.
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