MANY YEARS AGO, I walked the Camino de Santiago. For a month, I trekked across northern Spain, through mountains, fields, forests, cities, towns, and villages. Every day, new traveling companions would appear in my life. By the next day, they were gone, our departure times or routes taking different paths. Many times, someone I met earlier in the pilgrimage would suddenly reappear. We would embrace like long-lost friends. 

On the long road of life, my experience with the dharma has been similar. I’ve met the dharma not once, but many times. At each new life stage, it reappears like an old friend, bringing new lessons and perspectives.

Not yet ready

I first met the dharma during my first year of college. I went to a local bookstore to find a book on meditation, settling on The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa. My initial motivations were perhaps a bit misguided: I envisioned meditation to be a path to unlock fantastical mental powers. As a shy and insecure 18-year-old boy, I loved the idea that meditation would turn me into some kind of Jedi warrior.

I got about as far as the opening chapter, which focused on posture. For my undisciplined young mind, reading page after page with detailed instructions on how to sit properly… well, suffice it to say I wasn’t ready. I put the book on the shelf, where it remained for years.

While my first encounter was brief, it planted the seeds of dharma, awaiting more fertile soil in the future.

Beginner’s mind and dharma by book 

Fast forward roughly a decade. I was living in New York, trying to find my place in the world. Persistent confusion and self-doubt opened a door in my heart, and I was ready to meet dharma once again. A friend of mine loaned me Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. I can remember sitting in Astoria Park one day, feeling a sense of calm and confidence that I had rarely experienced. 

I started trying to practice sitting meditation. Fifteen minutes felt like an eternity. “Am I doing it right?” played on repeat in my mind. Without any formal instruction, I felt lost. My mind wandered until my body wandered right off the cushion.

For the next several years, I explored the dharma on paper. I read books on Buddhism from the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, and other teachers. But the more I read, the more I realized I would not make any progress through books alone. I needed community and a teacher.

Mingyur Rinpoche

After a series of major life changes — moving back to the United States, getting married, and settling in Chicago — I was ready for dharma. I set the intention to get out of my shell and find a meditation community. I visited several sanghas and eventually spent a year or so practicing with Shambhala. But then one day someone invited me to practice with a group called Tergar.

I really appreciated Tergar’s approach. The focus on direct experience, conversation, and guided practices was exactly what I needed.

When I did a Joy of Living weekend workshop, I felt like I was home. Seeing Mingyur Rinpoche teach, even in a recorded video, made the dharma come to life. I knew I had found my teacher.

For the next several years, my relationship with dharma deepened. I became a practice leader for the Chicago community, went on multiple retreats, and took refuge. I participated in Buddhist social action initiatives, seeking to plant seeds of dharma for others to benefit. These years were the richest period of practice and connection with dharma in my life so far.

But as we learn in the dharma, nothing is permanent. 

Householder dharma 

The past decade brought many changes to my life: going to grad school, the birth of my first child, moving to Washington, DC, starting a new career, the birth of my second child, fleeing DC during Covid, and the birth of my third child.

Each of these changes has brought richness and joy. At the same time, the demands of parenthood and work meant that dharma had slowly and steadily faded into the background.

In recent years, my formal meditation practice has been minimal. Instead, learning how to integrate dharma off the cushion is now my main practice — practicing “anytime, anywhere.” My experiences as a father and business owner provide endless objects of meditation.

Ultimately, dharma is meant to travel with us and guide our actions out in the world, not just on the cushion. As I have gradually accepted this new phase, my relationship with dharma has once again deepened.

The path ahead

One thing I’ve learned at this point: this phase will also change. As my kids grow older, no doubt they will need their mom and dad much less. The demands of the day will shift, and time for retreats and deeper formal practice will come.

One day, I’ll meet dharma again on the road, ready to embrace my old friend once more.

2026