I wanted to take a moment to share some reflections on the broad topic of “mental well-being.” We all begin meditating for our own unique reasons. Some of us think of the path of meditation as one that will bring us joy, some kind of awakening, or a way to work with our anxiety, loneliness, or whatever is getting in our way.

Whatever our reason for “coming to the cushion,” the common denominator is a sense that something is off, that we’re missing something. Because we care for ourselves, because we have a heart, we want nothing other than to experience some happiness and well-being. This is a completely normal and healthy impulse that we all share. The Buddha, too, was driven by this impulse.

We all imagine that there is a way of being that is more free, open, and connected to others than we’re experiencing now. We have such an imagination because it is true. There is such a way of being. In our heart of hearts, we sense that we’re missing something available to us. In fact, we are missing something that is available to us. If this openness and connection were not qualities of our fundamental nature, we wouldn’t struggle with its absence.  

We don’t struggle with the fact that we can’t fly, because it’s not our nature to fly. Our essence, our natural way of being is, by nature, the very ease and connection we’re looking to find. From this point of view, our longing for peace and happiness is simply an expression of our innate love and kindness. Similarly, longing to be free of distress is simply an expression of our innate compassion. And, our nagging sense that something is off is wisdom itself because, in fact, there is something off. What tells us this? As Mingyur Rinpoche says: It’s our own intrinsic wisdom. Nothing else explains why we intuitively know that our unhappiness is off balance, that it’s not our true self, and that it can be alleviated.

And yet, our shared human predicament is that, despite our longing to connect with our innate well-being, we struggle to find it. However hard we try, we always seem to be running in the wrong direction. Impulsively, in an attempt to find what we hope will make us happy, we get farther and farther from our goal. One could say that we’re “looking for love in all the wrong places,” trying to piece together the kind of world we think is possible. But, the harder we try, the more frustrated we become because whatever we find constantly slips from our grasp — everything is forever shifting and impermanent.

Mingyur Rinpoche’s father, Tulku Urgyen, always said that our shared problem is that we’re “homesick.” We’ve lost connection with our innate well-being; in losing that connection, we’re looking outside for what is already dwelling right here. He used to say, “Birds fly far from the nest and come home at night. We’ve flown far from the nest, but we’ve lost our way home. We’re all homesick.”

The path is to find our way home and reconnect with our natural way of being and innate well-being. The practice of meditation allows us to relax this misguided search for happiness in the objects of experience. It allows us to settle and connect with the unchanging peace, the natural wellbeing that is the very nature of mind itself. With this discovery, we can settle into a natural sense of ease and a new connection to the world around us and all others. This is experienced as a deep sense of wholeness and well-being.

Or, as the Poet TS Eliot wrote:

“And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

November 2024